Lifesong Adoption Fund

If you are adopting or thinking of adopting, YOU HAVE to check out our friends at Lifesong.  They offer many great services to adopting families.  Their adoption fund helped us LITERALLY fly Emmanuel home.

Can't resist posting their promo.  Ema making his modelling debut...

Emmanuel's Homecoming

Trip to Ghana to bring Ema home

Pics of my trip to bring Emmanuel home!

more drama

Our visa appointment on Monday was very hard.  Imagine walking up to one of 13 windows in a room with 150 people sitting in it and having a conversation with someone through glass....with a screaming toddler on your hip that has been waiting with you for 2 hours for this interview in that room.  The consular officer was all business.  He got right to it asking me all sorts of questions about our adoption.  When E had been taken to the orphanage, when we met him, how long I had been in the country.

Imagine this officer looking annoyed and walking back to an office where he has a heated discussion with another gentleman.  All while you stand at the window wondering if this will be the end of your adoption of your son.  I was shaking.  He came back and said I just don't see any evidence that he was ever at an orphanage and you need to prove to me that he was.  Through the grace of God, I calmly explained the order of events as I knew them to be true.  As I spoke he typed away on his computer, never looking up or making eye contact.

More back to the office arguing with that gentleman and then he walked back, handed me a little blue slip of paper and said ok, we have approved his visa, come back on Friday to get it.

I almost burst into tears.  Relief that he had approved.  Fear that he would call later and tell me they changed their mind.

Fast forward to this morning.  We return to the Embassy and are ushered with about 50 other people to the area to collect visas.  A very nice man comes out and explains all about an immigrant visa and the things you should double check, what to do with the passport, and the yellow envelope they are giving me that cannot be opened until we reach immigration at NYC.  They begin to call names and as your name is called you go inside and get in a line.  Our name was not called.  He walks straight up to me and says, "You meet me at window 2."

I am freaking out.  If I am not in that line over there, I am the exception.  I am not getting my son's visa.  I am not going home today.  More shaking.  I get to window 2 and the kind man smiles and says there is a problem with his visa, we are going to fix it.  Why don't you take him for a walk (because the kid is screaming and he has pity on me) and come back in 15 minutes.

Then in 5 minutes or so they call Emmanuel Brown to window 2.  There is a woman there and she tells me they have printed his visa with him listed as a female.  They have sent off for some checks and put high priority on them.  (What does that mean, but I don't ask?) She knows it is hard because she has a toddler and I should go and have breakfast and come back at 11:00.

I have entered full freak out mode.  On the surface it seems that we will get our visa no problem, they are obviously saying that.  But I am tense with fear.  I don't see the consular officer from my interview anywhere or I would have been even more nervous he was going to revoke his visa or something.

We go back to the hotel and E runs around playing while I sit down to read a book my mom got me for  Christmas, Jesus Calling.  I turn to today's devotional and it says I want you to learn a new habit.  Try saying I trust you Jesus in response to whatever happens to you.  It went on to speak into me.  He spoke into me and through His grace I was at peace.

Back to the Embassy at 11:00 and the visa in our hands within 5 minutes.  The same lady handed it to me, apologized and was so kind in double checking it and his passport to make sure everything was in order.  She smiled and said, "You and your son may go home."

I am sure she about died when the crazy white lady with the screaming toddler burst into tears.

Love journeying with Jesus, but it sure can be dramatic, or maybe that is just me...I am sure the drama on my travels home with E will be quite amusing too.  But who cares, we are going home.

it is hard

I had a kind person tell me I shouldn't talk so much on here about how hard visiting Africa or adopting is.  That I may keep someone from doing those things.

I apologize if any of my complaining would EVER cause anyone to not take these steps of faith.  Frankly, if words on a blog keep you from that, you will miss out on the beauty God has waiting for you.

But truthfully, it is hard.  Africa is a hard place.  I have a love-hate relationship with it.  While spending time here can bring such peace, such closeness with Christ, such fun from visiting friends, it can also bring stress.  It can bring out ugliness when the conditions are different than I am accustomed to.  And then when I am feeling annoyed that there are lizards in my room, that I am sweating 24-7, and that I miss my family comes the guilt that good grief, who cares, life goes on.  It is not about me.

So that is my emotional journey of visiting this place I love.  Wonder, Disgust, Guilt, Love repeat.  And repeat I will.  But I hate the flight so much don't ask me right now when I will repeat :)  Give me time to forget how long it took to get here.

And as for my favorite topic...adoption...

Adoption is just plain messy.  Being a parent is hard work.  Don't let anyone tell you any different.   Each journey is different.  Our 2 family adoptions have been as different as night and day.  Just like life.  There is no amount of preparation or planning that can be done that discounts the hand of God at work.  In my perspective, earthly adoption isn't much different than our adoption as sons into God's family.  We are a mess, situations around our lives are hard, and yet God is faithful and pursues us until we are His sons.  And adoption is a life time journey, always changing and growing.

NOW I am not equating myself or Gabe to God, because for heaven's sake I have spent MORE THAN  my share of time in this process whining and complaining and thinking not so great things about Embassy officials and the whole darn process.  Just wait 'til you hear the story of my visa interview this morning!  But when I stop and pray for perspective I am reminded that His ways are higher.

The amazing thing is that in one sweet moment with your child..you know the ones I mean...the look they give you, the smile, the hug, the proud observing you do as they become all God called them to be...you forget all the hard work and pain of parenting.  That is how it works to give you strength for the next hurdle!

Happy New Year!

Getting to know each other (again)

This coming back to Ghana was a little different than the many times I played it out in my head.  I went to bed for weeks dreaming and thinking of how it would work.  Where I would stay, what I would pack, how Emmanuel and I would bond.

Things don't go as we plan, but God's plans are better, right?...even if we can't see that at first look.

So that storm system that went through the US didn't stop me from getting to Africa (thank you for your prayers) but it did keep my luggage from arriving.  I am told it will come today...$75 and a trusted driver headed back the 3 hours to the airport ensures that...I HOPE!

So I had a back pack with this computer (that I DON"T NEED), all my papers and money, a pack of wipes, chap stick, toothbrush and toothpaste, a hair brush, one book, and one set of clothes for me.  Sweet Henry went out and bought diapers for Ema.  BUT that is all we have.  No clothes, no washes, lotions, and hair products I bought for chocolate skin/hair (yes, I am pathetic), no medicines, no snacks...I could go on but that is whining and complaining and I am trying to find joy in all things.

When I got to Ghana, 2 hours late, my driver wasn't waiting.  I found out, by using the phone of an all too willing airport taxi "director" that he was stuck in traffic.  So I sat outside the airport and waited.  If I had eaten or slept in the past 24 hours I may have had enough energy to be freaked out, terrified, or nervous.  Instead I just sat.

Then the 3 hour drive and Ema was waiting for me at the hotel!

Ema kept quiet and was very cautious for much longer than last time we were here...he didn'€t cry when I swooped him up and hugged him like I thought he might...just very straight-faced...like the whole night and all morning. I was pulling out all my best mommy moves (without ANY toys, books, or kid items at all) and I was getting half smiles.

It makes me so sad. He doesn’t trust that I am his momma. Poor little boy and all the memories in his life that I don’t even know. But God loves Him more than me and He is teaching me how to show E that love

He didn’t want to take a nap just now and was fighting and yelling and hitting me. My first instinct was just to lay him down and walk away like I would with my other kiddos at home when they throw fits at bedtime, but God whispered to stay and show him something else. So I held him tight and kept his hands from hitting me and stood and rocked him like a baby, singing to him...and he calmed down, his breathing slowed, he started touching my face and smiling up at me and then went to sleep.

These transitions are going to be hard, but I am up for the fight.

He woke up walking around looking for me saying "momma, momma", he is standing here trying to play computer, interacting with me and so adorable.  One little step forward.

All in all, praising God for the journey.  E is with me now and I won’t leave him again.

Thank you for the prayers. I feel them.

Pics coming when the camera (in luggage even though Gabe said not to do that) comes.

need your help for a trip

In 3 weeks, Gabe and I were going to be boarding a plane with 16 friends to serve with Visiting Orphans in Kenya and Uganda as trip leaders.  We have been planning this trip for 8 months.  BUT God likes to make His own plans and REALLY screw with ours.

Instead I will be getting on a plane alone in 3 weeks and going to Ghana to spend time with Emmanuel and serve there.

(We prayerfully desire and hope we can again serve God through Visiting Orphans ministry in the future.  We pray for our team, that they will be Jesus' hands and feet and that He will reveal to them what He wants next from them.)

I am SUPER excited, EXTREMELY nervous, and LIVING in planning mode.  Planning for the family here.  Planning for the trip there.  Planning for what Emmanuel needs.  Planning for the places that he and I can go and serve together for the 3 weeks I will be there. (Looking for ministries we can partner with in Ghana.)  Planning for the way that he will be able to come home with me when I fly back on January 17th.

So all the plans aren't in line, but we are stepping out in faith knowing that this is where God is leading.

We could use your help.  Please pray for this trip.  That all the details will fall into place.  That the funds needed for the trip will be here when they are needed.  That God will work and Emmanuel will be able to come home with me.  That regardless of ALL those things, God will receive glory.  That Emmanuel and I will have a sweet time of bonding as mama and son.

To give you an idea of what this trip will cost:
Airfare:  $3500
Lodging: $450 (good thing I am low maintenance!)
Meals:  $5 each twice a day for both of us
Transportation:  $100
Adoption Fees:  $1000
Communication with back home:  $200

Is there a piece of that you can help with?  A $5 piece, a $100 piece?

If you would like to make a tax deductible donation to this part of our adoption, you can do that through Lifesong.  Every gift counts.  There is none too small.  We need about $2000 more at this stage.

Mail checks to: Lifesong for Orphans PO Box 40 202 N Ford St. Gridley, IL 61744

Or donate online here.

Designate your gift:  Brown #2595 Adoption

We will be purchasing airline tickets this weekend, before they jump up again in price.  Flying Delta.  If you know anyone who can donate airline miles, please contact us quickly.  It takes about 75,000 miles to get me over there and home.  And 50,000 to get E home.

Please join us in watching God unfold this next step in our family's life as we strive to continue making it all about HIM.

The rest of our story in Ghana

So I have put off sitting down to write this post A WHOLE lot the past month.  Mainly because I knew it would be emotionally draining and who has time for that??

So we posted about our first day meeting Emmanuel, and it really was as precious as we said.  The week from there got a bit crazy.  His temperature was up and down a lot those first couple days and the Advil I was pumping wasn't really doing much for the 104 degree fever.  He was in great spirits though, playing, giggling and eating like crazy.  I mean HOW ADORABLE is his little voice in this video?



 On Friday we decided to take him to a clinic down the road.  Praise God for having this sweet lady that owned the hotel we were at, Marianne.  She was a WEALTH of knowledge for us and called down and let them know we were coming.

The lab and waiting area.

They took his vitals first which resulted in a nurse stripping him down and hosing (LITERALLY, OUTSIDE, HOSING) him down to cool him off.  That made him so happy.  Then they sent us to the lab out behind the clinic to get blood work done thinking he had malaria.  He did.  Malaria +++ to be exact.


Which is so much of the parasite in his blood that he should have been unconscious.

They gave him a few injections to bring down his fever and for the malaria, sent us on our way with tons of medicine and we were to return Saturday morning for another round of injections.  Saturday was a bit better.

Then came Sunday.  Emmanuel barely woke up all day.  When we would try to wake him up to eat or take his medicine he would just refuse and go back to sleep.  We physically forced the medicine down his throat.  It got worse as the day went on.  OF COURSE there were no clinics or hospitals close by open because it was Sunday.  So we spent the entire day watching him and praying.  And freaking out quite a bit.  From our past experiences, we knew that he wasn't getting enough oxygen and wasn't breathing the way that he should.

The fear of all those things we went through in the past began to choke our faith.  Sunday was a LONG day.  With nothing to do in the middle of Africa but watch him and plead with God to not take another child from us.

I am not going to lie, there were some not so great words between me and my Savior that day.  I sat looking out into the ocean that reveals so much about the majesty of God and was so angry as I whined at Jesus.  If it was His will to take Emmanuel to heaven and He brought us into his life just to rip him out of ours, I was not going to be ok.

We woke up Monday (or got up, we didn't really sleep) and were off to the clinic first thing.  We had decided to start there and then let God lead us to the care we needed for our son.  Of course, He provided.  At the clinic they retested his blood and said it was good.  He was down to Malaria +, but his Hb levels were now very low.  (From 8.6 on Friday to 5.7 on Monday)  I asked if we could get a blood transfusion.  They told us that no his blood was too thin and it wouldn't mix properly with new blood.  His levels were too low for a blood transfusion.  They told us to just take him home and get him to eat and wait.

Well that was all we needed to hear to take him for another opinion.  THAT made no sense to my mind and I have no medical training.  So we headed into Cape Coast to another clinic.  E and I sat down in the que to wait.  It looked like there were about 65 people in front of us and we were to move one seat at a time to the front of the line.  Seriously?  Later we found out that wasn't really the system.  They used a computer that had the time that you got there and called you on a first come first serve basis.  BUT everyone waiting thought the "move a seat" thing worked, so they went with that!  Did I mention that E's fever was 104 and it was 100 degrees outside and I was surrounded by sick people I didn't know that didn't speak any English??

As we waited a nurse walked past Gabe and he showed her on his iphone (praise God for technology) the lab test from the other clinic.  She came and took us right in.  I was a bit embarassed to be THAT WHITE LADY that walked in front of everyone else into see the doctor.  But getting E help quickly made me not really care.

Looking back later I did lots of processing over the people we saw at these clinics.  People waiting in hospitals for months for simple care we can get in moments here in the US.  People that are children of God and loved by Him.  But that isn't for this post.

The doctor looked him over and asked me what I thought.  REALLY?  My patience was pretty much gone at this point after being in Africa for 7 days and all we had gone through so far.  So I said I think he needs a blood transfusion.  I think his hands, eyes, and feet are yellow because he isn't getting enough oxygen and he needs to have a transfusion.  He began writing us a letter of recommendation and sent us to Central Regional Hospital.

Me helping put in E's central line

There we waited again to talk to the pediatrician and AGAIN we got right in before many other people. He ordered a repeat blood test to make sure that the levels were right and sent us to the "ward" to get ready to stay for a transfusion after the lab work came back.

So it all came down and we got a blood transfusion.  Ema and I stayed the night at the hospital so he could get his transfusion.  Gabe couldn't stay.  We had to stay alone.  I was terrified, but what else can you do?  Mom-up is what you do!

 So the nurse hooks up the blood and says to me "Watch that drip right there.  If it goes slower or faster over the next 4 hours yell for me."  Ok?  So I did.  Watched blood drip for 4 hours while THANKFULLY Ema slept in my arms as I sat on a plastic covered mattress in this hospital in the middle of Africa alone.  I have never felt quite like that at all before.  So full of fear and so at peace at the same time.  When his transfusion was done, I laid him next to me in the bed and watched him sleep the rest of the night.  All I could think was my son's name means "God with us" so I prayed those words over and over and over.  God with us, God with us, God with us.

Morning came and Ema awoke a new little boy.  He had energy and wanted food.  And it was as if we had received a miracle.  Or...we did.  We were able to leave the hospital and spend our last day together in Ghana with our son.

Throughout this whole ordeal Emmanuel was ATTACHED to me like never before.  He spent those 3 sick days with only mama.  Cried for mama.  Wanted nothing to do with anyone else.  While it sure was tiring pretty much holding him for 72 straight hours.  If nothing else, I am thankful for that gift.  The gift of him trusting me and knowing I am his mama.

As we went home and began packing it was surreal.  We had just brought him home.  Just got our miracle and now we were packing to leave him.  He was toddling around babbling and giggling.  Putting his stuff in the suitcases.  It was heart-breaking.  Felt like we had been kicked in the gut.  But again we did what we had to do to make things alright for him.  I shared with him about his family at home and that we'd go home and when the papers were ready come back to take him with us.  Between the lack of sleep and the reality of the moment, I talked through the tears.

And the next morning, Henry came and picked him up.  Ema loves to ride in the car and loves Henry so he was good to go.  Which was very helpful.

We have spent every day since that day aching for him.  We know this wait is part of the process, but it just seems cruel.  We have a son that is across the world.  We have been without him for 32 days, and I imagine this is only the beginning of our wait.  Leaning on the faithfulness of Christ is all we can do.  We know His plans are better than ours.  Even though right now we can't see that, we still believe it.

Praying for a Christmas miracle for our family.  As my brother says (yes, he is cheezy) O Come, O Come Emmanuel.

Meeting Emmanuel

Today has been quite the day. One of those we have been thinking of, dreaming about, wondering how it would go. Today we met our son Emmanuel.

He was pretty shy at first, hiding behind the table. Wanting to sit with the man, Henry, who brought him to us. Walking across the yard was a bit surreal. But within a few minutes we took him down for a walk on the beach. He was so quiet and attentive just looking at us. Then daddy got to hold him for the first time and within seconds he was smiling and giggling.


The rest of today has been one big play date. Lounging around this gorgeous simple beach boutique hotel we are staying at. Talking with the great staff here that are spoiling him and us! Feeding him chicken fried rice for lunch and dinner at the hotel restaurant, giving him milk for probably the first time, and sips of our Fanta, which he loves.

He had his first bath and some grooming (or as Gabe says me picking at him) which was adorable. We won't post his naked body here because that is weird...but it the cutest chocolate naked body ever!


Had a photo shoot pretty much all day as there wasn't one thing he didn't do that was stinking cute...even when he flailed his little 20 lb. body on the floor after dinner because he was so tired and SO full but he didn't want us to take away his bowl....sweet boy!


Went on an adventure to town that scored him lots of attention (us too!) and some cookies.



He is super tiny. The clothes he has on are 6-12 months. But in movement and development he seems his age (19 months). He has all the signs of being malnourished, but we are sure working on that!


I just finished putting him to sleep for the night. Rocking and loving on him and snuggling and praying with him. Good thing the room was dark or my tears may have freaked him out!


Just like with all our children at home that we miss, we loved him unconditionally the second we saw him. Each moment today just made him more special as his personality came out. He is so sweet and loving. He has an ornery smile. He loves kisses and hugs and being tickled. He makes faces that are quite like a Brown, even sticks his tongue out like his daddy as he plays with his truck.

I am not going to lie. There is a nagging feeling in our minds throughout all the joy at the thought of what the end of these days will bring. While leaving him here brings so many worries and fears, we selfishly just really want to be with him. Really just want to begin life at home being his parents. Trusting when the time comes, God will grant His peace and strength for all 3 of us.

We are so thankful for this time and pray God works miraculously to make the time come quickly in which we can bring him home to share with you.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

SPOKEN 4 shirts

Check out our adoption shirts.  So my friends pointed out that I always design shirts for other people and I needed to come up with one for our adoption of Emmanuel.

So Gabe and I got together and came up with this design.  Because we are always talking about speaking up for those that cannot speak for themselves.  It is probably our life's mission these days.  And Emmanuel is SPOKEN FOR.  The Browns have spoken for him.

And THANK GOD we are all SPOKEN FOR by Christ and chosen by Him.  So this shirt can be for you adoption lovers or just anyone that wants to remember that JESUS has chosen them.

This IS NOT a fundraiser (I know, shock, right, that is all we ever do!).  These are shirts being offered at cost as we put in an order for family and friends to wear these shirts to the airport as we come home with Emmanuel.

Orders need to be in by October 8th.
HERE IS THE SHOP ENTRANCE!
If you have questions email me!

Deep Dish Pizza is back

Some of you will remember the Deep Dish pizza we sold a couple years ago for an Orphan Sunday event!  Well it is back this weekend.  Our friends are holding a Chicago-Style deep dish pizza sale to raise money for our adoption of Noah.  Check it out...

Lifesong adoption fund

Dear friends and family,

Many of you know that we added to our family through adoption in 2010.  The blessing of being Mommy and Daddy to our twin daughters, Macy and Gaby, continues to reward us to this day.   You can read about that entire adoption story, including the story of Gaby’s short life that brought God glory, at our family blog, www.brownstreeintheforest.blogspot.com.  We feel that God is asking us to grow our family again through adoption.

 Some of you are probably wondering what has prompted us to adopt.  Well, primarily, we’ve felt so clearly directed by God to adopt that we want to obey Him. We desire to give an orphaned child a family that he probably wouldn’t otherwise have.  We believe that God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for and adopted into Christian families – ultimately so they can become saved, and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ!

 

God has chosen to bless us with a son, Noah.  He is 4 years old and lives in Ghana, in West Africa, right now.  While the timeline of adoptions is very much in God’s hands, we estimate that he will be able to come home sometime this fall.

Saying yes to God in obedience isn’t the challenge this time.  Continuing to lean on Him for provision and trust in His faithfulness is the hard part of this step.  Even though He has proven faithful in the past, the thought of another $24,000-$30,000 adoption ransom is scary.

By God’s grace, and with help from many of you, we have been able to pay each adoption fee in the past and each one so far set in front of us.  We trust that will continue as we walk forward in God’s timing.

Honestly, it’s a little difficult for us to make our needs known, but we also know it is part of allowing you to join in the story and celebration of Noah and giving him a family.   We appreciate your friendship very much and would like you to pray and consider helping us in our adoption.  There are two ways you can help:

1. Prayer – The most important gift you can give.  Please pray that God would protect Noah in Ghana until we are able to bring him home, that God will prepare his heart and mind for joining our family.  Pray for our 4 kids here as they wait to meet their brother.  That they (and their parents!) will have patience, and be filled with kindness and understanding as our family grows.  And pray that God will give us wisdom, discernment, and insight as we raise all of His children that He entrusts to us to know Jesus Christ.

2. Financial support - Will you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help us pay the remaining $15,000 in adoption expenses, to bring Noah home?

Lifesong (www.lifesongfororphans.org) has graciously set up a fundraising account for us to raise funds to bring Noah home. You can send your tax-deductible gift between now and April 24^th to the address below.  Lifesong is a trusted organization administering the funds on Noah’s behalf, and will pay adoption expenses out of funds received.

1. Please make checks payable to: Lifesong. You may preference how the donation might be used by writing “Preference: Brown#2595 Adoption” in the memo section of your check.

(*Note: In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to Lifesong which retains full discretion and control over its use.)

2. Mail checks to:

Lifesong for Orphans

PO Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St

Gridley, IL  61744

or donate online http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/donation.html

3.  Email us, and let us know what message you’d like to be on your puzzle piece for Noah.  Check out what that is all about here http://brownstreeintheforest.blogspot.com/2012/01/piece-of-noahs-story.html.

We also have a variety of fundraisers for apparel, accessories, and other fun stuff on our family blog if you are interested.  Thank you for supporting our family through prayer and encouragement.  We are blessed.

Gabe, Shelley, Keaton, Kayden, Laney, Macy, and Noah

Letter from lifesong

A Piece of Emmauel's Story

We are doing a fun project in our home, a gift for our son.  Something to pass the waiting time here for the kids that are anxious to meet their brother.  Something that can help put a dent in the 28,000 adoption fee. now $7000 travel fees!

This puzzle is for Emmanuel.  Together we will put it together.  Piece by piece.  Then we will frame it and give it to Emmanuel when he comes home.

For $5, you can purchase a piece of the puzzle.  You can write your name on the back (or we can write it for you) and add it to the puzzle.  Want to write more than a name?  You can buy a few pieces, and write a note.

Donate here, e-mail us or comment letting us know your name and/or message.  That's it.

Be a piece of Emmanuel's story in first bringing him home, and then in giving him a gift that for the rest of his life he can see the people that God gave him in his life who love him.  Thank you!

We're Expecting Part 2

Continued from yesterday...

Then along comes an e-mail in my inbox, a waiting children forward that I would typically delete after quickly praying for all the kids that are in that e-mail and never opening it...because seeing their faces gets me in trouble.  But this one, something said, leave in your inbox and read it later.  Anyone that knows how obsessive I am knows what a feat this was.  I have 0 messages in my inbox.  Because I read them, do what needs to be done from or for them, and delete them.  It is like having a list, it needs to be taken care of.  I realize this is a problem, but back to this story...

A few days later during my quiet time with God, my phone alarm goes off to pray for orphans.  I set the Bible down and proceed to pray for the little ones I met in Africa.  During this prayer, I remember that e-mail and open it up and up pops pictures of children all over the world that are waiting to be adopted.  They are all nameless, just pictures.  I go straight to the African ones, somehow thinking that I will recognize someone or an orphanage (which is a bit ridiculous and self involved that the little piece of that continent God revealed to me will somehow be found in everything African from here on)  And my eyes land on a little boy.  I am sure he is 2 or 3, which means he isn't the age Gabe and I have been thinking God wants for us, but I can't resist so I inquire about him.

Let me back up a second, the little boy in Uganda had a name from the Bible.  Now that isn't magical or anything, but names are a big deal to us.  Our kids have always had a first name chosen by Gabe and I with a middle name that is family related.  Except Gaby.  Her first name was family (Gabriel) and her middle name was Hope (because we knew she would need it).  When we would talk about adopting an older boy someday I always felt they were to have a name from the Bible.  A name of God's promise.

As we get info back from the agency about their process of adoption, they send us the limited info they have on the boy.  His name and his date of birth.  He is 4 and his name is Noah.  Gabe and I about fell over.  Ok, God we hear you loud and clear, we will keep walking.

Aren't you freaked out?  Why yes, we are.  Anytime you walk into something unknown it shakes you a little.  But we are more excited that God would choose us to once again follow Him in faith. What an honor.

Yes, the money involved in this adoption scares us.  28,000 is a pretty large number.  But that doubt is not from God.  He provides.  That is the amount it takes to get over there and bring Noah home.  It is the only way that he is part of our family.  It is the only way that we get to be a piece of his redemption and restoration story.  So through the door we move.  His mercies are new every morning.  He has proven that (although He doesn't need to) to us over and over, and yet Satan still likes to make us doubt and think...well He isn't going to provide this time.  He has provided enough for you, He can't help you all the time, He has others to help.  So we stand in faith, believing that our God can and will choose to provide.

Yes, add to that Keaton and Gabe are going to Kenya this summer.  That really has nothing to do with this.  Other than it involves the same continent and touches on one of our other passions, teaching our kids that life is about Jesus and others.

Because life can't be about the money that stands between us and obedience.  He is requiring of us to do these things, and the earthly price of them is what it is.  So, we simply move forward.

So where are you in the process?  Well anyone that has adopted, knows that a timeline is pretty much a joke and a guess.  But this is what we know today...Our home study is done.  Our dossier is one Homeland Security form short of going to Ghana.  Then we await our court date.  I will go and meet Noah, begin the court process, live there for a week.  I will return home.  We will wait for the final court date (they say 6-8 weeks later).  I will return to Ghana, finalize our adoption in court and bring Noah home.  The exciting thing is to see how God shakes that plan all up and throws down His story which will be so much better.

So please join us in praying for Noah.  For our family.  For God's plan to continue to be our guide. And for children all over the world waiting on a family, that they will feel the love of Christ anew today.

We're Expecting Part 1

Well not technically, but we are adding to our family.  The Browns are adopting.

I have wanted to write this post, or more accurately tell this story, for a couple months, but God's timing is perfect.

We are adopting a 4 year old little boy from the country of Ghana.  I wish I could share his picture here so you could all see his beautiful face, his sad eyes, and his cute little belly sticking out of his too small shirt.  But for now, we can't.

So, now to answer the questions that may be going through your heads.  If I don't get them all, comment and I will answer!

Adopting again, thought you already did that?  Well, yes we have adopted in the past.  We adopted Macy and Gaby.  We love our kids and we love the miracle of adoption, we love Africa, and God has now given us a son to love.  Seems pretty simple to us.

How do you know this is God's will?  Besides that crazy inner feeling of confident faith which is enough for us, God continues to open doors, telling us to get walking through them.  As I returned from Africa in October, God worked on my heart in so many ways.  One of these was that He impressed on my mind and spirit a little boy in Uganda that had attached himself to me.  I became eerily aware that God was telling me to look into the adoption of this little guy.  Long story, little shorter, that young man is not adoptable.  It is God's design that he remain in Uganda and grow into a strong man of God there.  All about Him, not about us.

More tomorrow...

a bloggy friend

Check out this blog post by Shannon.  Beautifully written.  So good to be the church.

http://www.faithsetfree.blogspot.com/2012/01/we-are-church.html

One Less Orphan Fundraiser

I am honored to be helping this family bring their little Shannon home.  Check out the cool items up for bid!

pausing for a friend

So, today I pause from sharing about the sweet orphans that I met in Africa, to sharing about one beautiful former orphan and her momma that we bumped into across the globe.

Today I am reading and catching up on her blog and my heart is breaking as I read about their daily struggle in hospitals with Ruby Grace now that they are home.  Been there, done that, and it is wearing.

I  can't imagine coming home after being in another country fighting to bring my daughter home for over a month, to have the hospital and all that goes with it as the reward.  Hurting so badly for this momma and yet simply amazed by God's grace displayed in her life and the lives of her family of 13 (11 kids so far) as I read her words.

Please read through the story of Ruby Grace if you haven't and join together in shaking the gates of Heaven crying out on her behalf.

Even as I type these words my phone alarm goes off.  The alarm that I have set to chime every day at 1:47 so that I can pause to pray for the orphans of the world.  The sound and reminder are overwhelming today as I am wrecked for this family.

But quickly the pain and agony I feel is filled with a steady knowing that we praise a Living God who cares more for Ruby Grace that I do, than her family does.

Gracious Jesus, heal this little one quickly and bring her family peace.  May Your glory be displayed for all to see.

One Year Gotcha Day

A year ago today we walked into this place 

and God gave us our daughter.

The minute we held you we would have given our lives for you.

Happy One Year Gotcha Day Macy Jean.  Your family loves and adores you!

May God continue to pour out His blessings into the life of Macy and may she grow to know His love and choose to accept His gift of salvation and live a life devoted to serving Him.

in love with adoption

Had one of those sweet conversations with my boys last night.  The kind that make you all warm and fuzzy about being a parent.  It was bed time and I was impatiently telling them to turn off the light, stop talking, get under the covers, no more drinks, and you get the picture, when Keaton asked me a question.  Now, he very well could have been stalling, but hey, it worked.

He said, "Mom which one of us kids do you like the best.  I know you love us all, but which one do you like?"  I very much wanted to say I like you all the exact same now go to sleep so I could run into my own bed and start reading my book or flip on the TV.  But I decided to take a deep breath and explore what he was really asking me.  So I told the boys (who share a room) that I have so many things I like about each of them, but I would share one thing about each of them tonight.  And we began.  And in case I don't tell them enough I will put them here in cyber-print...

Keaton, one thing I love about you is that you were my first child.  You taught me how to love like a Mommy.

Kayden, one thing I love about you is that I see so much of your father in you and it reminds me why I love him so much.

Laney, one thing I love about you is you were my first daughter and have been so fun, girly, and full of life.

And Macy....and Keaton interrupted me and said, "I know what it is you love about Macy, Mom.  You love that she is adopted.  Right?"

And you know what?  My instinct was to jump on that and say I would love Macy if she wasn't adopted, and I don't love her differently than you because she is adopted, and you are no less special to me because you aren't adopted, and ask them do you love Macy any differently than your other siblings?, and so on...But again, I was still and listened (new thing for me, I know!)

And he went on..."because you are in love with adoption Mom and you have been ever since we brought Macy home."  And Kayden jumped in and said ..."because we are all adopted Mom if we choose to love God."

And there it was.  They said these things with such admiration and clarity that I was humbled.  I hadn't signed them up for an Adoption 101 class, hadn't made them read a book about it or write a paper, or even made them sit down and talk to me.  God was revealing Himself to my boys through me.  Through my love for adoption.  I was about as giddy as a mommy can be.

And the truth is I am in love with adoption.  Sure, I love what it brought to our family in Macy.  Sure I go crazy about orphans and figuring out what I can do to help God set them in families.  But more than that, I love what adoption has taught me about God.  I don't know anyone else's story, just my own, so I can only speak for myself.  My adoption story isn't about becoming a mommy to Macy.   That was a miracle and a gift, but my adoption story is that God used this time in my life to draw me to Himself.  My adoption story included a loss of one of those gifts.  A death.  And that makes it all the more life changing for me.  Because in Gaby's death, not the concept of it, but her literal physical death, those last 20 minutes with her on this earth, I experienced the physical presence of God in a way that I have never before in life.  I felt the eternal.  And I am forever changed.

This year, I have moved from being a lifelong Christian that God blessed who had struggles in life sure, but not really.  I was all high and mighty about my faith and that it could never be rocked no matter what God took from me or did to me.  When in all reality, He had never let anything come into my life that hurt to test that.  To now being someone that saw and experienced pain and hurt that I believe God could have prevented and stopped, but chose not to.  And I am ok.  I love Him.  I believe in Him.  I trust Him.  And I still believe that He couldn't take or do anything that would change my faith in Him.  The ONLY way that I can say those things is through His strength and power.

So, when I get all up in your business and you feel that I am pushing adoption on you, I am and I am not sorry about it.  Mainly because I want every child to feel the love of a family and to come to know Jesus through a family that follows Him.  Because if only 7% of professing Christians around the world would respond and adopt one orphan, there would be no orphans.  They would each have a home.  And partly because I want you to experience God in a brand new way.  I want you to let Him pour into your life as He takes complete control.  I want you to have an adoption story.

Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Through Christ, God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing that heaven has to offer. Before the creation of the world, he chose us through Christ to be holy and perfect in his presence. Because of his love he had already decided to adopt us through Jesus Christ. He freely chose to do this so that the kindness he had given us in his dear Son would be praised and given glory.  Ephesians 1:3-6.

Macy, one thing I love about you is that you were my first glimpse into the miracle of adoption.