Friday, December 28, 2012

Getting to know each other (again)

This coming back to Ghana was a little different than the many times I played it out in my head.  I went to bed for weeks dreaming and thinking of how it would work.  Where I would stay, what I would pack, how Emmanuel and I would bond.

Things don't go as we plan, but God's plans are better, right?...even if we can't see that at first look.

So that storm system that went through the US didn't stop me from getting to Africa (thank you for your prayers) but it did keep my luggage from arriving.  I am told it will come today...$75 and a trusted driver headed back the 3 hours to the airport ensures that...I HOPE!

So I had a back pack with this computer (that I DON"T NEED), all my papers and money, a pack of wipes, chap stick, toothbrush and toothpaste, a hair brush, one book, and one set of clothes for me.  Sweet Henry went out and bought diapers for Ema.  BUT that is all we have.  No clothes, no washes, lotions, and hair products I bought for chocolate skin/hair (yes, I am pathetic), no medicines, no snacks...I could go on but that is whining and complaining and I am trying to find joy in all things.

When I got to Ghana, 2 hours late, my driver wasn't waiting.  I found out, by using the phone of an all too willing airport taxi "director" that he was stuck in traffic.  So I sat outside the airport and waited.  If I had eaten or slept in the past 24 hours I may have had enough energy to be freaked out, terrified, or nervous.  Instead I just sat.

Then the 3 hour drive and Ema was waiting for me at the hotel!

Ema kept quiet and was very cautious for much longer than last time we were here...he didn'€t cry when I swooped him up and hugged him like I thought he might...just very the whole night and all morning. I was pulling out all my best mommy moves (without ANY toys, books, or kid items at all) and I was getting half smiles.

It makes me so sad. He doesn’t trust that I am his momma. Poor little boy and all the memories in his life that I don’t even know. But God loves Him more than me and He is teaching me how to show E that love

He didn’t want to take a nap just now and was fighting and yelling and hitting me. My first instinct was just to lay him down and walk away like I would with my other kiddos at home when they throw fits at bedtime, but God whispered to stay and show him something else. So I held him tight and kept his hands from hitting me and stood and rocked him like a baby, singing to him...and he calmed down, his breathing slowed, he started touching my face and smiling up at me and then went to sleep.

These transitions are going to be hard, but I am up for the fight.

He woke up walking around looking for me saying "momma, momma", he is standing here trying to play computer, interacting with me and so adorable.  One little step forward.

All in all, praising God for the journey.  E is with me now and I won’t leave him again.

Thank you for the prayers. I feel them.

Pics coming when the camera (in luggage even though Gabe said not to do that) comes.


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