Monday, October 3, 2011

8 days and counting

and I will be leaving the continent.  Wow planning a missions trip is one thing, but the leaving time actually being here, on this page of the calendar, that is real.  Going to try and blog short notes here every day or so until I return on October 24th.

There are many things racing through my mind these days:

  • Will my kids be okay here?  Will they behave for Gabe?  Will they be sad?  Will they have fun with their friends?  Will they get sick?  Will their lunches get packed?  Will they eat vegetables?  Will they get to sleep on time?  Will their hair ever be combed?  Will they miss the bus?  Will they get to all their extracurricular activities?  Will they wear gym clothes on gym day?  Will Gabe go crazy doing it all?  Will his hearing get worse?  Will he have more balance and vertigo issues?  Will he get frustrated with all the people that are helping him with the kids?
  • Will I get along with my team?  Will they like me?  Will they think I am a mouthy loud annoying old lady or a sweet serving daughter of Christ?  Where will I use the bathroom?  What will the showering be like?  What will rooming and sleeping with other people be like?  Will I have enough room for all my stuff in my luggage?  Will I have room for all the gracious donations that people have given me to take?  Will I remember everything?  Will I  be able to journal and read the Bible through my new iphone even without internet access?  Will I be able to facetime or skype my family at all?  Will I get the pictures of my family I want to take printed and in a little flip album?  Will I have enough money for things while I am there?  Will my luggage get through and be there when I get there?  Will I even be able to carry it myself?  Will I know where to go when I get to an airport?  Will I get lonely?
  • Will the kids I visit be sad when we leave?  Will they make relationship with us just for it to be taken away?  Will my heart be able to handle the things God allows me to see?  Will my hands be able to do all that God needs me to do?  Will my spirit be able to put aside my own baggage with kids that have medical needs and no parents so that I can be His hands and feet.  Will I have the strength to open my heart up to love just to know that I will leave them and yet trusting that someone else will fill that role after me?  Will I understand what they need?  Will I be submissive to my team leaders?  Will I be respectful of the ministry leaders at these orphanages that pour into these children every moment of their lives?  Will I be able to come home?  Will God ask me to stay?  What will He ask me to do with what He has shown me?
And that isn't even half of it.

But today my time in the Word was brief and it left me realizing that this trip is a gift.  In so many ways, but a gift to my soul, to my spirit.  I am looking forward to the time away for the purpose of being filled.  For the purpose of my fast paced life with people and things pulling in all directions being replaced by a time that God can speak and I will listen.  A time I will be still as I wait for a flight or sit and reflect after a day of serving.  I am so ready to have time with Jesus.  Just Him and I surrounded by things that are close to both of our hearts.  

For that reason October 12th can't come fast enough.

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