Many people ask me what the holidays are like for our family this year. They are what you would imagine. Not because there is something sad or terrible about a special day. But because on days that you spend time with family doing special things, the absence of Gaby is bigger. Every day brings thoughts of Gaby. Good thoughts, happy thoughts, sad thoughts, angry thoughts. But this time of year when everything is a little more special and a little bit bigger, so is the pain.
For example, today a normal everyday Monday at home is hard. The time that has passed since I last saw Gaby here on earth, last held her, last kissed her, last told her I loved her is now further away from me than the total time we were able to know Gaby at all here in this world. It is amazing to me that life can change so quickly. The last year has flown by and brought so much for our family.
But what I will tell you is the waves of sadness and pain that we have felt over the past months are getting easier to ride. Maybe we are just becoming seasoned surfers, I don't know. But the joy and hope comes rushing in much more quickly after the pain and sadness hits than it did before. God is healing that hurt. He is bringing that joy. And we cling to Him for it.
i found your blog through the link you provided for you article in the gate post. when i read it was written by someone with your name, i thought, "can this be the shelley that i talked to off and on last year while i was getting smith into preschool?" and i see it was. it's so weird to me how people you pass from day to day can be going through such hard times, and we never know it. i will be praying for your family as you heal.
ReplyDelete~sharlin wieland