Wednesday, May 12, 2010

This day has been hard, but not because we thought Macy was coming home and she didn't. Yes, it would have been fun to give her a bath, put her in jammies, and have her cuddling with the big kids here at her home for the first time ever in her life. First time ever in her life in a HOME of her own.

But, it was hard because we watched our daughter encounter setbacks that made no sense. Yesterday, she was herself. Feeling better, good skin coloring, bright inquistive eyes that want to be nosy about everything. Today she wasn't that way as she began her day. She was lethargic, groggy, sleepy, and kept having spells of Apnea (stopping breathing for 10-20 seconds). After returning downstairs to Peds ICU this afternoon, she returned to herself. She was tired and worn out, but she was back to "normal".

It is hard because I want her to be herself. I want her to be what God designed her to be...our happy, sweet Macy. I want her to experience His complete healing and never have the scary feeling of not being able to catch her breath again. Watching her little eyes full of fear during and right after those times of Apnea is heartbreaking. I want God to take that from her today and never allow her to experience it again. I am fighting alongside Him for her. Fighting against any evil that would take her joy and breath. I am claiming my Macy for Jesus.

Psalm 46 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted amoung the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us.

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