Wednesday, May 5, 2010

just when you think it can't get any darker

We knew the journey God had us on was going to be a hard one. We knew that when we stepped out in faith and followed Him it would be full of pain and trials. We did not comprehend until today, just how badly obeying Jesus can hurt.

Our hurt seems so big and yet we know that others hurt is just as big to them. Others have done far more than we are doing for their Savior, and we recognize that things could always be harder.

But today it sure doesn't feel that things can get much worse.

Today we left Gaby.

After doctors talked with us today for hours, we came to the decision that Gaby is going to be medically transferred to Riley Children's Hospital in Indiana. The team in Florida will begin making contact with Riley, working on the transfer, and getting Gaby stable enough to travel to Indiana.

All we can do is wait and pray. Before we left for home they intubated Gaby to breath for her. They felt this would give her body a couple days to recover and not put strain on her heart as they run tests and things to see what is going on. They think she may have a virus or simply might just need more time to rest after the latest surgery she had. We trust that they will monitor her clinical data and do what is best.

Gail, the sweet lady from our agency that sat with Gaby before we arrived in Florida came and is going to be our arms for her. We are so thankful for Gail and all she is doing for our family. What a blessing to have someone there looking out for Gaby and loving her.

So that is what is happening in this moment. We don't know anything about tomorrow, and can't even comprehend what will be next in this journey. We just know what is happening for this moment.

My heart has never known such hurt. I just want it to stop aching and there is nothing that makes it stop. All that we can do is cry out to God. For His quick healing of Gaby, for wisdom as her parents, and for His timing in bringing our family all together again. What else is there to do but lean on Him? Because without Him this would be impossible.

We had a small glimpse today of what God must feel about that "one child". That one child, or sheep, that is lost, left behind, not part of the flock. His hurt must be so great.

Thank you God for your grace, for your love, and for your eternal hope. May you rest in Him.


  1. We are in tears with you. My love and prayers.


  2. I can not even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. Lifting you up in prayer.


  3. My heart is breaking for you. God knows the depth of your pain, and how you made this decision because it is best for Gaby and all of your children. It was a selfless decision that only a loving parent could make. How rich and deep will be your joy on the other side of this trial!

    You are constantly in my prayers.

    Amy O.

  4. We share your sorrow, still praying and longing for the day Gaby will be completley healed and rejoined with her new family.

  5. I'm so sorry. Continuing to pray for your family all day long.

  6. Our hearts are sad with yours. He has her in His arms constantly comforting and healing her.We will keep praying......

  7. Gabe and Shelley,

    My heart is so heavy for you guys right now. Looking so forward to the day when Gaby is home and in your arms again. We can kind of relate to what you are going through. When we went to Ethiopia to bring Addalyn home, there was a chance that Taz's paperwork would be complete and that he would also officially be ours. We were so disappointed that this was not the case and I remember visiting him in the orphanage and then having to leave...not knowing what the outcome for him was going to be. We were so sad leaving him. I know your situation is very different...just wanting you to know that we feel your pain. All of you will continue to be in our prayers. We love you guys!


  8. Please know that there are many, many of us following your story and praying for all of you, for strength, courage, and healing. I know that God has a wonderful plan for your family. We will keep praying.

    Jenny M.