just when you think it can't get any darker

We knew the journey God had us on was going to be a hard one. We knew that when we stepped out in faith and followed Him it would be full of pain and trials. We did not comprehend until today, just how badly obeying Jesus can hurt.

Our hurt seems so big and yet we know that others hurt is just as big to them. Others have done far more than we are doing for their Savior, and we recognize that things could always be harder.

But today it sure doesn't feel that things can get much worse.

Today we left Gaby.

After doctors talked with us today for hours, we came to the decision that Gaby is going to be medically transferred to Riley Children's Hospital in Indiana. The team in Florida will begin making contact with Riley, working on the transfer, and getting Gaby stable enough to travel to Indiana.

All we can do is wait and pray. Before we left for home they intubated Gaby to breath for her. They felt this would give her body a couple days to recover and not put strain on her heart as they run tests and things to see what is going on. They think she may have a virus or simply might just need more time to rest after the latest surgery she had. We trust that they will monitor her clinical data and do what is best.

Gail, the sweet lady from our agency that sat with Gaby before we arrived in Florida came and is going to be our arms for her. We are so thankful for Gail and all she is doing for our family. What a blessing to have someone there looking out for Gaby and loving her.

So that is what is happening in this moment. We don't know anything about tomorrow, and can't even comprehend what will be next in this journey. We just know what is happening for this moment.

My heart has never known such hurt. I just want it to stop aching and there is nothing that makes it stop. All that we can do is cry out to God. For His quick healing of Gaby, for wisdom as her parents, and for His timing in bringing our family all together again. What else is there to do but lean on Him? Because without Him this would be impossible.

We had a small glimpse today of what God must feel about that "one child". That one child, or sheep, that is lost, left behind, not part of the flock. His hurt must be so great.

Thank you God for your grace, for your love, and for your eternal hope. May you rest in Him.