Enough

Laney and I have been watching the butterflies in our garden and I had to share these pics. What a reminder that God surely is enough. If in all his creativity, wisdom, and beauty, He can write the story of a butterfly's life, He surely should be trusted with the writing of mine.

I had 3 instances in which these scriptures and this topic came up over the past week. Once as I was reading a daily e-mail about grief that I receive. Once as we were having our famiily devotions at the dinner table. Once as I was reading a book and searching the Bible. Figured that must be a sign that I was to pause and listen to what God wanted to speak into my life about this!

I have been reading about Paul. Frankly he is one of my favorite people in the Bible because he was so messed up and yet God worked in him and through him to do great things for the Kingdom. I have been reading about his difficulties in II Corinthians 11. He describes all these awful things that he has been going through that all basically could have left him feeling emptiness.

Emptiness is one of those feelings that overwhelms me lately. I have so many blessings in my life that should make me feel full, even stuffed. I like to be a person that is full. Full of ideas. Full of promise. Full of purpose. Full of energy. Full of insight and understanding. Who doesn't want to be full? In the last year I have felt so full that God was directing every step and we were in sync with Him. But this past month all I can feel is empty like I am wandering in the desert with no purpose. The loss I feel is making me weak, like the thorn in Paul's flesh did for him. Emptiness is the stage of grief I find myself in which isn't bad as long as I go to Jesus to be filled.

Paul talks about this weakness he had as a thorn in his flesh that tormented him. But somewhere along the line Paul moved from wallowing in his weaknesses to taking pleasure in them. What an example for us, for me! God's grace is sufficient, it is enough. He is enough. Can I make that move? Can I shift from desperately seeking relief from my weaknesses to diligently seeking to honor and glorify God as I treasure Him more than my own comfort?

I have heard people say I couldn't do what you did. I couldn't respond the way that you are. I couldn't go through it. I believe the honest answer to those statements is, "No, you are right, you couldn't do what we did because that isn't what God asked of you." God hasn't given you the grace for it because you don't need it right now. But you CAN do anything He asks of you because as you say yes He provides the grace you need for whatever it is. Not ahead of time, not in abundance, but enough grace to do His purposes.

God, help me remember that you are enough and keep me wanting more of you. Help me to rest in and trust your provision of grace as I hunger and thirst for you and find you truly satisfying.